TIBETAN TWO-STEP, SHUFFLE & SLIDE
by Charles Carreon
(Perform while wearing seersucker suit and straw boater hat with ukelele accompaniment.)
There's a sucker born every minute
In the good ole USA,
I got here through religion, and here I'm gonna stay.
Just stand right there
Don't scare the crowd,
I've got wisdom teachings, so gather 'round.
It's true you've heard tales of monastery life
How it's filled with depravity and extra wives
But where we gonna go? It's cold outside.
The spiritual path is hard to travel,
But in an antique Rolls
The miles just unravel.
So whaddaya expect a guru to do
But pass the crumpets,
Wouldn't you?
So listen up kids,
Not many can boast
That they told you the truth before they ate your toast
And before you say no, remember first
I'm the best of what's left
And you could do a lot worse!